Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.

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  (925): it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee. http://tfl.nu/9pjs
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  (212): View more from New York

  It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.

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  (212): It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you. http://tfl.nu/rmlk
  Replies (23) Good night (437) Bad night (1450) Order T-Shirt
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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  (458): So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins... http://tfl.nu/wa72
  Replies (53) Good night (1109) Bad night (5790)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

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  (440): wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant http://tfl.nu/01g1
  Replies (54) Good night (1236) Bad night (15594) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.

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  (574): god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut. http://tfl.nu/n8g7
  Replies (34) Good night (854) Bad night (3692) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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  (903): u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird? (214): Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb? http://tfl.nu/cbow
  Replies (87) Good night (1582) Bad night (4974)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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  (303): maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing... http://tfl.nu/2fyx
  Replies (11) Good night (1068) Bad night (3757) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card

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  (732): on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card http://tfl.nu/pv0m
  Replies (8) Good night (4175) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.

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  (262): You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk. http://tfl.nu/u9t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4209) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.

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  (306): Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me. http://tfl.nu/vlc7
  Replies (2) Good night (2103) Bad night (595)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.

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  (575): I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable. http://tfl.nu/vijz
  Replies (3) Good night (1308) Bad night (840)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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  (402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable

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  (310): I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable http://tfl.nu/myt6
  Replies (4) Good night (427) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar

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  (303): I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar http://tfl.nu/zhfq
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.

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  (410): If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board. http://tfl.nu/zly7
  Replies (4) Good night (831) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt

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