My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
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Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast