it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.