Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Odds of those being real?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  One in who gives a fuck

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  (202): Odds of those being real? (614): One in who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/agkd
  Replies (91) Good night (4922) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  Do u kno any dealers?

  (1-424): View more from California

  I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.

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  (424): Do u kno any dealers? (1-424): I've officially lost all respect for you, dad. http://tfl.nu/eaqw
  Replies (36) Good night (2748) Bad night (7562)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him

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  (321): even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him http://tfl.nu/7qwv
  Replies (19) Good night (1191) Bad night (4190)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes

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  (314): i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes http://tfl.nu/8fav
  Replies (17) Good night (955) Bad night (5326)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.

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  (518): She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change. http://tfl.nu/rlg4
  Replies (16) Good night (1852) Bad night (5763)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.

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  (416): No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up. http://tfl.nu/0i7a
  Replies (14) Good night (4630) Bad night (2677)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

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  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (1080) Bad night (10008)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country

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  (651): I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country http://tfl.nu/ju5o
  Replies (9) Good night (5291) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Why do you have to go to the hospital?

  (407): View more from Florida

  I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me

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  (321): Why do you have to go to the hospital? (407): I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me http://tfl.nu/224u
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (1817)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.

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  (262): You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery. http://tfl.nu/1z8w
  Replies (2) Good night (1820) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.

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  (330): I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/wf9d
  Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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  (314): If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life. http://tfl.nu/s141
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  You're the salmon of the gays...

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  (574): I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual (1-574): You're the salmon of the gays... http://tfl.nu/2l6t
  Replies (2) Good night (862) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?

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  (858): Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body? http://tfl.nu/gksx
  Replies (8) Good night (289) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?

  (561): View more from Florida

  Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.

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  (954): Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do? (561): Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one. http://tfl.nu/ehu8
  Replies (4) Good night (827) Bad night (213)

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