im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire