Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"

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  (414): He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly" http://tfl.nu/s1qp
  Replies (41) Good night (891) Bad night (5022)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  tonight lets celebrate not being married

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  (318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc
  Replies (19) Good night (7022) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

  (909): View more from California

  I'm scared to ask why.....

  (509): View more from Washington

  1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

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  (509): I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM (909): I'm scared to ask why..... (509): 1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare. http://tfl.nu/ztpp
  Replies (13) Good night (4987) Bad night (1082)
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  (951): View more from California

  My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.

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  (951): My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit. http://tfl.nu/s2aa
  Replies (33) Good night (10753) Bad night (1457)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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  (401): We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/48jv
  Replies (8) Good night (3541) Bad night (1095)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.

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  (540): It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd. http://tfl.nu/h39y
  Replies (8) Good night (2415) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.

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  (701): A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case. http://tfl.nu/jpiw
  Replies (13) Good night (4246) Bad night (945)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  There's always time for handjobs

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  (573): There's always time for handjobs http://tfl.nu/m1ol
  Replies (13) Good night (2744) Bad night (797)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.

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  (704): I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all. http://tfl.nu/3ryw
  Replies (3) Good night (1134) Bad night (1824)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Aren't they always?

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  (610): My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit" (1-610): Aren't they always? http://tfl.nu/6oqg
  Replies (1) Good night (1730) Bad night (852)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Yep

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  (204): I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh? (1-204): Yep http://tfl.nu/wj63
  Replies (0) Good night (1051) Bad night (561)
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  (562): View more from California

  That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.

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  (562): That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation. http://tfl.nu/22zx
  Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!

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  (321): I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis! http://tfl.nu/o0qu
  Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.

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  (202): So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay. http://tfl.nu/ivx8
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (545)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.

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  (303): I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room. http://tfl.nu/4ego
  Replies (3) Good night (725) Bad night (271)

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