Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (23350) Bad night (1312)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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  (314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw
  Replies (16) Good night (1024) Bad night (3538)
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  (310): View more from California

  Slut skills are useful in every country.

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  (310): Slut skills are useful in every country. http://tfl.nu/pvtq
  Replies (14) Good night (4683) Bad night (807)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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  (519): Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous http://tfl.nu/zfcd
  Replies (10) Good night (5015) Bad night (986)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping

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  (216): He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping http://tfl.nu/ku3q
  Replies (9) Good night (1018) Bad night (3172)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen

  (845): View more from New York

  That would be so convenient

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  (845): Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen (845): That would be so convenient http://tfl.nu/c28s
  Replies (12) Good night (3098) Bad night (1025)
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  (510): View more from California

  I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear

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  (510): I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear http://tfl.nu/ry3a
  Replies (9) Good night (2266) Bad night (902)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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  (360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1680) Bad night (563)
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  (408): View more from California

  I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.

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  (408): I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night. http://tfl.nu/u07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1460) Bad night (686)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could

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  (630): So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could http://tfl.nu/zj3u
  Replies (4) Good night (1885) Bad night (1201)
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  (925): View more from California

  Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.

  (1-925): View more from California

  How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?

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  (925): Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night. (1-925): How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure? http://tfl.nu/pvre
  Replies (13) Good night (1374) Bad night (350)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.

  (682): View more from Texas

  That's completely alright, I do it a lot.

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  (817): Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself. (682): That's completely alright, I do it a lot. http://tfl.nu/7is7
  Replies (5) Good night (679) Bad night (324)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices

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  (260): I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices http://tfl.nu/lkn8
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (433)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.

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  (608): He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love. http://tfl.nu/9m9h
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (298)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.

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  (303): I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked. http://tfl.nu/ersw
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (281)

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