I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
