Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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