Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Alive.
So much puke
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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