your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
