would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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