Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
