thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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