FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
