She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
