The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
