just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
