In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Did I show you my penis last night?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
