dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
