i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I would ride that face into the sunset
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
