Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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