Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.

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(703): I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup. http://tfl.nu/a2al

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(805): View more from California

I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends

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(805): I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends http://tfl.nu/9344

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(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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(973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc

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(713): View more from Texas

I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic

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(713): I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic http://tfl.nu/5us9

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(812): View more from Indiana

obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date

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(812): obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date http://tfl.nu/sjjn

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(951): View more from California

Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.

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(951): Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials. http://tfl.nu/ieds

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(561): View more from Florida

They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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(561): They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment. http://tfl.nu/ozel

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(954): View more from Florida

Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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(954): Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/zg18

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(518): View more from New York

Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.

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(518): Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip. http://tfl.nu/y6yl

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(818): View more from California

So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

(323): View more from California

Gross

(818): View more from California

AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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(818): So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth (323): Gross (818): AN ACTUAL PICKLE http://tfl.nu/hdiy

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(505): View more from New Mexico

At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right

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(505): At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right http://tfl.nu/tpj0

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(386): View more from Florida

I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.

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(386): I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone. http://tfl.nu/mucl

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(479): View more from Arkansas

We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

(501): View more from Arkansas

Strong work

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(479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.

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(717): Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English. http://tfl.nu/s5ju

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."

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(304): It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry." http://tfl.nu/xw8s

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