I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
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IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno