Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude my mom stole all your condoms

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  (301): Dude my mom stole all your condoms http://tfl.nu/kyrw
  Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (1360)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.

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  (210): I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it. http://tfl.nu/afso
  Replies (4) Good night (1576) Bad night (586)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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  (425): my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired. http://tfl.nu/08pz
  Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (2050)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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  (319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989
  Replies (12) Good night (914) Bad night (3789)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.

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  (902): This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being. http://tfl.nu/gtcm
  Replies (8) Good night (3742) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...

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  (734): im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/gkjq
  Replies (60) Good night (2653) Bad night (6410)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

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  (989): It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened. http://tfl.nu/z3yw
  Replies (3) Good night (3111) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?

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  (417): so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra? http://tfl.nu/rm09
  Replies (28) Good night (1654) Bad night (3613)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1451) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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  (541): Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding http://tfl.nu/9api
  Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options

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  (303): We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options http://tfl.nu/lflv
  Replies (12) Good night (1981) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.

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  (319): I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/c71w
  Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.

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  (415): While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband. http://tfl.nu/oqkd
  Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.

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  (859): I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/dk5g
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (173)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.

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  (610): My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie. http://tfl.nu/xa8c
  Replies (6) Good night (556) Bad night (362)

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