Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.