how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I understand Curling. That high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
