drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
