Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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