I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize