Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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