There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
