did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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