That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
