question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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