Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize