If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Randomize
