3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
another moral hangover. fuck.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
