Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
