the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
