Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize