Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
