Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
