So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
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My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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