god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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