i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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