i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
