i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
