how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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