what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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