Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
