Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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