Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
