On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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