she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize