well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
40s are totally the cure
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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