bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
