Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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