we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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