the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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