Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
