Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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