I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
