I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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