She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
