Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Randomize