so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize