Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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