Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
