Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
