i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
