This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
