i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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