ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There r osticjed everywhere
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
