On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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