Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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