I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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