bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
