There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
