I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
