Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
