I would go down on you faster than GM stock
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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